I want to thank everyone who has sent prayers, comments, and email messages to me during this difficult period for my family. I will resume regular posts in a few days. I am not much for words at the moment.
– John
Until today, one of the most challenging things I’ve had to do in life was watching my mom physically and mentally deteriorate over 18 months with frontal lobe dementia. The process culminated in her death on November 10, 2016, at 11:11 a.m. She died with me holding her hand. And just like that, the person who brought me into the Earth game was gone from my life forever.
I spoke with my mom daily and helped her publish twelve books of poetry later in life when something misfired in her brain. Poetry became the way she communicated instead of regular conversation. When she was gone from my life, it seemed nearly incomprehensible that the woman I had known ever since I was born would never speak to me again during this incarnation.
Today, I experienced another personally challenging thing when I watched my dad transition from life to death in a veteran nursing home under hospice supervision. Leo Reizer was 87 years old when he took his last breath. The emotions I experienced watching the man I grew up admiring and loving slip away from life on Earth to somewhere else were strong.
Honoring A Veteran
Life is so damn bizarre. We form different relationships with people we come to love, and then, in a blink of time, those people are lost to us forever, and that special connection we experienced is over, and we never see them again. Life is all about the relationships we form with our parents, spouses, children, friends, and others. It is also about experiencing loss when those relationships reach their endpoint.
I was very close with my dad, and he was a great father to both his sons. Later in his life, our roles reversed, and I, along with my brother, became his caregiver. This is the cycle of life and is a common occurrence between parents and children.
If I were to give out a few words of advice to anyone, it would be this: talk to your parents as much as you can. Once they are gone, they are gone forever, and you will never have that opportunity to do so again.
Thank you, Dad, for helping me and being there every day for all 60 years of my life. I will never forget you or the time and love you invested in me. I will miss you dearly.
Goodbye for now!
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Obituary
Leo J. Reizer
7/10/1936 – 9/25/2023
Leo J. Reizer, 87, of Spartanburg, SC, passed away peacefully on September 25th, surrounded by his family and loved ones. Leo grew up in Lakewood, New Jersey, a town he lived in with his wife, Edwina, and their two sons, John and Steven, for most of his life. Leo worked at Jersey Central Power & Light Company before retiring in 1993. In his retirement, Leo became an avid fisherman and could be found regularly fishing on the Jersey shore. Leo was a great father and husband and served in the US Army from 1959 to 1961. In his later years, he and his wife split time living in New Jersey and the Upstate of South Carolina to be close to their two sons. Leo will be dearly missed and always remembered.
Leo was predeceased by his wife, Edwina Reizer; father, Joseph Reizer; mother, Anna Reizer; sister, Mary Reizer; and brother, Michael Reizer. He is survived by his brother Joseph Reizer, sons Steven and John Reizer, and grandchildren Olivia, Kayla, and Jackson Reizer.
Leo requested a celebration of life be held in his honor instead of traditional funeral services. The celebration occurred at the St. Mary of the Lake Cemetary in Lakewood, New Jersey, on October 20, 2023.
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Thank you so much for your kind words! 🙂
I offer my condolences on the loss of your father. It is so difficult to watch a role reversal where the father you admire, trust and revere changes physically and sometimes mentally to now need your care. But it is even harder to say goodbye knowing that this incredible life of memories, advice, experience and knowledge is gone forever. May your memories sustain you through this difficult time. I will pray for you again.
You are quite welcome, Dirkje! And I always love seeing your comments here!
Lisa
Magnifiek Lisa…thank you so much..grtz…Dirkje..
Quite understandable, John! 🙂
Lisa
Thank you, Lisa! I appreciate your support and posting my mom’s poem. It’s been a rough day. I am not much for words right now. 🙂
John
John, what you have written about both of your parents touches the heart in all of us. So many of us have experienced the loss of someone near and dear to us.
I lost both of my parents some years ago. But because I lived further away I never got to say goodbye to them in their last hours.
I spoke to my dad while he was unconscious while my sister held the phone. She told me later that the minister at the hospital said that was what he was waiting for. To hear my voice or feel my energy. He was then willing to let go. Because shortly afterwards he passed away.
And I had recently seen my mother before she had passed. However that didn’t make it any easier to hear the words from a stranger at the nursing home where she was residing tell me that she was gone. I screamed out no, no, and broke down crying.
I still sometimes think that they might walk in the room. Our parents are such an integral part of our lives. And although we have our many memories and photos of them, it is still not the same.
John, I love the photo you have shared with us of you and your dad. It is surely one to remember! I am sure that you made him very proud. As well as your mother. And I find her poetry writing that has been shared online to be quite terrific! How wonderful you were a part of all that!
And although it is important for us to mourn our loved ones, it is also important to still remember to be happy. And this following poem of your mothers was one my favorites.
“Have we lost our sense of humor?
We must laugh on every day
For without laughter life is dull
Life is a stage without a play
Funny little quips that people say
Are the gems that sparkle and shine
Right within a placid soul
That’s in need of sunshine
So laugh inside, laugh out loud
Laugh whenever you can
And to think you have laughed
Too much
Laugh out loud again!”- Edwina Reizer
Also, John, what an interesting time that your mother passed away!
And as difficult as it must have been for you watching your parents leave this world, you have to be grateful that you were right there by both your parent’s sides to say goodbye!
Lisa
Thank you, Dirkje!
I’m sad for you dear John…I know how it feels…my dad died in an accident…I only saw him in a casket…my mother died in my arms..take care John…best wishes from Dirkje…The Netherlands
Thank you, Kenneth!
Thank you!
Thank you, Roark!
John
I am sorry for your loss… both your losses, your dad, AND your mom
So very sorry on the loss of your father 😪
Hi John,
In recent years my father’s health went downhill. First when covid was just getting started, he didn’t get into hospital fast enough and about 6 months later he was told if he had come in earlier maybe they could do more, but at this point the infection he had required them to amputate below the knee.
He was a trooper and went through all that was involved with the prosthetic leg and wheel chair, much pain, a ton of rehab and meeting other amputees who could coach him.
Unfortunately in the past year, his sight started to go. For a year, he kept seeing a doctor that would prescribe different eye drops that would just make his eyes burn and his sight would worsen.
Although we were not close in recent years, we were close in my formative years. In 2015, I had sent a link to a video of a Trump rally that I thought showed a patriot who had a great head on his shoulders and was well spoken and thus well received by the crowd.
I had concerns with Hillary as a possible president and was excited about Trump, however from that point forward, my folks suffered from Trump derangement syndrome or TDS, because they were evasive in eMail and so we fell largely out of touch up until recently when we reconnected near the end of his time here.
Anyway, I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your share today and what you said about those we love and how quickly things can change.
I’m so sorry for your loss!
Regards,
Roark