Shared by Lisa Hakes
By Donna Ashworth
This is for all who have lost their parents:
When you say goodbye to a parent, you are suddenly living in a whole new world.
You are no longer ‘the child’ and regardless of how long you have officially been ‘grown up’ for, you realize you actually never were until this moment. The shock of this adjustment will shake you to the very core when you have finally said goodbye to both your parents, assuming you were lucky enough to have had two.
You are an orphan on this earth and that never, ever gets any easier to take no matter how old and grey you are yourself, and no matter how many children of your own you have.
You see, a part of your body is physically connected to the people that made it and also a part of your soul.
When they no longer live, it is as if you are missing something practical that you need – like a finger or an arm.
Because really, you are. You are missing your parent and that is something far more necessary than any limb.
And yet the connection is so strong it carries on somehow, no-one knows how exactly. But they are there. In some way, shape or form they are still guiding you if you listen closely enough. You can hear the words they would say to you.
You can feel the warmth of their approval, their smile when a goal is achieved, their all-consuming love filling the air around you when a baby is born they haven’t met.
If you watch your children very closely you will see that they too have a connection with your parents long after they are gone. They will say things that resonate with you because it brings so many memories of the parent you are missing. They carry on traits, thoughts and sometimes they will even see them in their dreams.
This is not something we can explain.
Love is a very mystical and wonderous entity.
It is far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all and grief, grief is the price of that love. The deeper the love the stronger the grief.
When you say goodbye to a parent, do not forget to connect with that little girl or boy who still lives inside you somewhere.
Take very good care of her or him, for she or he will be alone and scared.
When you say goodbye to your parents, you lose an identity, a place in the world. When the people who put you on this earth are no longer here, it changes everything.
Look after yourself the way they looked after you and listen out for them when you need them the most.
They never really leave!
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Great stuff as always, Lisa!🙂
🙂
John,
I did not know about the loss of your mom in 2015. I’m sorry to hear.
Yes your writing is therapeutic and a loving wife!
Blessings,
Roark
Yes, I found these woman’s words to be quite touching and wanted to share. I am very glad John and Roark that you both appreciated her heartfelt words. And maybe others as well.
It’s already been 23 years since I lost my dad to a sudden heart attack, and 8 years since my mom went through a slow agonizing demise that included many aches and pains which ultimately lead to her heart attack. Although my sister and I also believe that she was unnecessarily being given way too much medication in the facility she was being cared for by when she died.
However, the years gone by since their deaths hasn’t diminished my thoughts of envisioning them still walking through the door. Because they are a part of you and you miss them. You want to see, hear and touch them. So, I still like to envision them walking in saying hello, and giving them a big hug! ❤
Also, I like to believe with these visions that I am making a connection and bonding with the energy of their souls! 🥰
Lisa
Losing your parents is a pretty tricky thing to navigate through, for sure. When I lost my mom in 2015, it came after a horrible period for me, and that, combined with the way dementia affected her personality, made the death process all the more stressful.
After my dad’s passing in September 2023, the loss of my mom was even more present in my mind than when she died in 2015. My dad’s death has brought me an unbelievable amount of depression. It shook me in a way I didn’t believe possible.
My therapy has always been writing and the support of my wife. Life in the Matrix is not an easy experience, and you must try to keep busy. Thankfully, I have been able to keep moving forward and stay productive.
Thanks, Lisa, for sharing this touching piece of writing from this woman. 👍🙂
And thank you, Roark, for sharing your thoughts. 👍🙂
John
Thanks for sharing this, Lisa!
in some ways it sounds so painful to lose both parents, I can hardly finish this sentence! 😦
My father chose to go after struggling for a few years with bad health. We saw him off, so in some ways it didn’t feel like he even died. It just felt like he went somewhere else.
But to lose mom as well? That is something I cannot even bring myself to think about. 😦